Constant criticism during childhood brings to the fore the belief of worthlessness. This situation causes many negative symptoms, especially self-confidence, to be observed in people who were subjected to both physiological and psychological violence during childhood. This condition is common in adults as well as in children. For this reason, many people think about how they can improve themselves both psychologically and physiologically and do research on this. First of all, we start our article by considering the problems the child has experienced in terms of his spiritual and physical development and saying "You are not guilty".
You Are Not Guilty!
Individuals who spend their childhood under the supervision of a blaming parent experience a lack of confidence while having difficulty interacting with the environment correctly in adulthood. This situation may cause advanced psychological disorders. The child tries to make sense of the harsh criticism made towards him in his mind. If this meaning-making process is inadequate and cannot be resolved by the parent, individuals with low self-esteem emerge.
A child who is approached by his family with an accusatory and critical attitude during his development phase cannot form a proper bond with his circle of friends. Indirectly, a child who cannot interact well with his environment will experience failure in school. This situation can cause anxiety crises, depression symptoms, lack of belonging and anger problems in the child's adulthood. The most important reasons for low self-confidence are constantly blaming and criticizing the child and trying to communicate with a high tone of voice.
The Effect of Constant Blame
If the world of children cannot be perceived correctly when viewed from the adult perspective, instantaneous actions and excessively accusatory reactions to events will create intimidated, insecure and afraid children. Accusatory speech, which includes words that amount to serious insults, can also cause advanced psychological problems in the child, including fear and hurt. A child who is constantly accused may now try to postpone his actions, avoid many things, hide things by constantly lying, and prove himself with angry attitudes. This rebellion process eventually alienates the child from the family. These reactions may not always be observed the same in all children. The effect of criticism and constant blame may not only lead to a process of escape that will lead to rebellion, but on the contrary, it may also lead to children who are more introverted, isolated from their environment, and quieter. The following can be observed as the effects of constant blame on the child:
*Anxiety problem
*Depression
*Self-confidence problem
*Avoidance
*Delay
*Do not lie
*Hiding
*Persistent state of anger and irritability
*Introversion
These articles reveal that; Being constantly exposed to criticism in order to raise a good child according to the standards of parents causes great harm to the child's world, especially during adulthood. The extent of criticism that begins to be made towards a person without a certain level may trigger the formation of low self-confidence and aggressive individuals in the future. The healthiest thing here is to respond by choosing the most appropriate word for the child's action at that moment. Any steps taken to raise good children with a personality-damaging attitude lead to the emergence of aggressive adults in the background who consider being fragile as a mistake and are closed to criticism.
Criticism During Childhood
Constant criticism during childhood brings to the fore the belief of worthlessness. The person feels obliged to pay attention to his every move in every situation. In this case, there is no need to criticize the actions of an outsider. He approaches life in a self-critical position at every moment. Essentially, over time, this approach causes the person to push himself towards perfection. Because the need to be perfect is usually an aspect that a person develops in himself to protect himself from other people's criticism.
As the dose of criticism increases, the child always looks for shelter in his own world. He generally does not like to communicate with people and is anxious. This anxiety also manifests itself in aggressive attitudes. He may experience low self-confidence in the environments he enters. Since he cannot cope with people, he has a high tendency to withdraw into his own world. This tendency towards deprivation and self-blame felt during childhood causes people to approach everyone as accusers in adulthood. He constantly approaches his surroundings by judging them.
Adulthood Delinquency
A child who has received an intense critical approach from his parents develops a different perspective on events than his peers in adulthood. Such children have internalized the feeling of acceptance and approval in every mistake and failure. Generally, focus is placed on the shortcomings rather than highlighting the good aspects.
is cleared. It is possible to experience low self-esteem and self-confidence and anxiety in adulthood. Such adults are often not very experienced in living without the approval of the environment.
They may often feel anxious and uneasy. Another behavioral problem is constantly struggling to stay strong. This causes the person to feel vulnerable and fragile to be perceived as weakness. Therefore, when he is unhappy or angry, he tries to express it in a more aggressive and angry way. The feeling of cruelty will always harm both oneself and others. In this case, children who are constantly excluded, scolded and made guilty come to the fore. An individual who has overcome these stages and reached adulthood does not hesitate to hurt both himself and others.
Children Growing Up Made to Feel Guilty; You Are Not Guilty
We have tried to provide you with brief and concise information about being blamed and criticized in children, especially between the ages of 0-7. In order for your children to establish healthy relationships and express themselves in adulthood, their most basic emotional needs must be met. Providing this will help you understand your child better and increase your child's self-confidence and establish healthy relationships in adulthood. Otherwise, acting unconsciously may not only disrupt your child's psychology but also cause him/her to become an introvert and lonely individual. Especially in these situations, professional family counseling will be effective in helping you and your child cope better.
