The secret of change; Being able to look at yourself from the outside

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Life Coach and Trainer Barış Aslan said that change starts with knowing yourself. Stating that examining yourself and seeing your own mistakes is the most difficult thing in the world, Aslan said: “If you are not satisfied with the life you live, if something is going wrong, if you cannot achieve the success you want; "You need to look at yourself objectively from the outside. When you can achieve this, a revolution begins in your life," he said.
Answering the questions of oncology patients and their relatives as the guest of Denizli Oncology Volunteers Solidarity Association, Life Coach and Trainer Barış Aslan stated that the most important reason for unhappiness and failure is that people do not know themselves. Noting that change will start with self-knowledge and awareness, Aslan said, "We need to look at ourselves from the outside with an impartial eye."
Barış Aslan said:
“Looking at ourselves from the outside, examining ourselves, seeing our own mistakes is the most difficult thing in the world. Do we want to look? Will we see? Will we accept our situation after looking at it? Will we reject it? Are we going to blame someone? We must look at the aspects we like and dislike about ourselves with empathy and understanding. What is our current situation? What's our progress? We must accept it first. There must be acceptance so that correction can begin. We can't get to where we want to go unless we know where we are.
What do I want? What don't I want?
  Am I happy now? What am I happy about about myself? What am I not happy with? What do I want? What makes me happy? Actually, what should I do and I'm not doing it? What am I afraid of? What do I enjoy? Who am I, what do I want? What don't I want? What can't I do well enough? How can I do good enough? From whom can I get support? If we do not ask ourselves these questions, then we will go wherever the wind blows, like a blown leaf.
Lock yourself in a room. Take a pen and paper in your hand. Review your life without your phone, without thinking about anything else, and focus for 20 minutes. If you think what's going wrong, look there. For example, if you are complaining about your economic situation, look at your work and actions. Let's look at what you do and where you spend your time to earn a bigger income. Think about what would happen if you spent your time somewhere else and write it down. We can examine a friend's situation easily and successfully, and we can easily come up with suggestions that will help him or her, because we can look at it from the outside. You can also do it for yourself. When you can look at yourself from the outside without prejudice, then the revolution will begin.
You Should Be the Boss of Your Own Life
  If I am not the one who decides and manages my life, then I am not free. At least I should be able to manage my life myself. I should be able to talk about myself. Think of yourself like a company. In every company, there are people who give orders and carry them out. If you are the one who gives that order to yourself, and you are the one who carries it out, you will have created a perfect system within yourself. If your manager is good (that is you), and your employee is good (that is you), then you will be successful. Sometimes you have to be the boss and make yourself do the things you need to do to achieve your goals but don't want to do. Successful people are people who can do things they don't like when necessary. If you are a good boss, a good employee, and a good accountant when necessary, you will reach your goals step by step. You must find different roles within it. If you can make decisions about your own life, if you do the things you want in your life and not do the things you don't want, you are free. Remember, you are valuable and this life belongs to you.
Being able to move forward despite difficulties
You need to be a volunteer of your own life. Of course, volunteering requires some sacrifices. The volunteer accepts that there are difficulties, knows that everything is not ready, and struggles despite that. You must have goals in life. You must have strong reasons to achieve those goals. If you have these, you will move forward despite the obstacles and difficulties you encounter. Whatever the external circumstances, this should not deter you from your path. But we must also determine the limits of our sacrifice. However, if what you say amounts to stupidity, it is a wrong motivation and a wrong goal.
Make Your Goals Realistic
Imagining the goals you want to achieve, the gains and beauties we will achieve after the difficulties we experience, will motivate you. “Why should I make this sacrifice?” You must have a good answer to the question. You must clarify your dreams and goals. Of course, your goals must be realistic to avoid hitting the reality wall.
There is a saying in personal development: “You can achieve anything you want if you really want to?” There is no such thing. I'm sorry, you won't succeed. 'I will jump from the top of this building, but I will live, I want it so much' Is it possible? Impossible. “There are some rules and limitations.”