If you think that no one understands you or you complain about being misunderstood all the time, it may be because you cannot express yourself correctly and you do not know the characteristics and perception system of the person in front of you well. Personal Development Specialist and Educational Consultant Barış Balcı gave important information about healthy communication.
The way to communicate correctly is to know yourself first. Then we need to realize the perception systems of the people around us. Personal Development Specialist and Educational Consultant Barış Balcı talked about the ways to establish healthy communication in order to be happier and more successful in life.
Noting that each person has a different way of learning, perceiving and narrating an event, Barış Balcı said, “Recognizing what distinguishes us from other people, knowing ourselves makes life more meaningful, and knowing that there are people with different characters, structures and different perceptions are more flexible and more flexible towards them. It helps us to be compatible.”
It Is Necessary To Catch The Right Frequency
Balcı stated that when we could not catch the right frequency on the radio, we could not transmit our message across, and we could not hear the messages coming from the opposite side, and added that people like this should be on the same frequency in order to understand each other and communicate in a healthy way.
Barış Balcı gave the following information:
“It is a very important power for a person to know himself, to travel within himself, to realize his strengths and weaknesses, to realize his values and priorities, to interpret his interaction with people differently, to look at himself from the outside, to perceive what he does as a mirror. This can take time. For this, sometimes there has to be a quest, a need arises, an obligation. Sometimes we can go on with our lives unaware of them.
If we know ourselves, we can choose our profession, our spouse, according to our personal characteristics. This allows us to lead a happier path in life.
Everyone's Perception of Life is Different
It is very nice to be able to get to know oneself, but it is very valuable to be able to perceive other people's differences and identify their different aspects. We live with 8.5 billion people in this world. We interact with many people. Just as our fingerprints are unique to us, each person's perception of communication can be different.
According to the perception system, people are divided into three as those with strong visual perception, those with strong auditory perception, and those with strong emotional perception. Some people construct and perceive events by visual animation or seeing. The verbal expressions of some may be more prominent in their perception by hearing. Others perceive and convey life through their emotional world.
For example, when buying a car, some of us look at its appearance and color, some of us want to hear its technical specifications and performance from the seller, some of us think how safe it will feel there, how comfortable the seat looks.
What is Love Language?
It is very important to know these perception systems in order to express and perceive love.
Visuals perceive everything as images, figures, pictures. When someone is asked for the address, they describe the building and tree there with images. Visual memory is better. He speaks fast, makes a lot of gestures. You can describe something to a visual person by depicting it or by showing it. If he is a student, it will be easier to learn in this way. When it comes to love; It is not enough to express love to such people with language. For example, when you receive a gift or serve it, it feels more loved.
Auditory voices speak loudly, their speech rate is more stable. Their movements are more controlled. They are very uncomfortable when their words are interrupted. They have sensitive ears and are good listeners. They ask questions to understand better. They want to hear in order to understand. It is necessary to express love to them verbally. They want to hear words of approval. It is important to be in front of him while speaking and to look at his face.
The tactile ones, that is, the emotional ones, are more sensitive. They speak louder. They perceive what is happening around them and what is expressed to them as feelings and emotions. They record everything in their memory along with the emotions they felt at that moment. Such people feel loved when you hug them.
The majority of divorces are due to the fact that the spouses do not know each other's love language. Since they are not on the same frequency, they cannot express their feelings towards each other.
It is Possible to Develop Communication Skills
As a person progresses in life, his confrontation with himself happens through events and experiences. The reaction and attitude towards these experiences and events may differ at different ages. As he gets to know himself and the people he interacts with, his attitude and interaction towards them changes and develops. Just as technology develops and our communication tools differ, so do people's communication equipment.
Since the way of healthy communication is to know yourself first. Personality to know ourselves betterWe can do tests, read books about it. We can receive training to improve our skills in diction, presentation techniques, speaking well, and using body language correctly.
Factors such as our sitting, posture, appearance, and tone of voice are important tools in communicating. Of course, being positive and smiling is also a must for healthy communication.
Knowing himself and improving his communication skills will enable him to make better decisions, take more correct steps, and make better choices, both in his family environment, in his academic career, and in his work-related process.”